What is confidence?
Is it a skill? Probably not.
Is it an emotion? Maybe…but that’s not how it is typically classified like happiness, anger or sadness.
So, what is it? If you ask me:
Confidence is a feeling. It’s the skip in your step. The way your shoulders sit a little higher. It’s the quiet pride that comes from doing something you once thought you couldn’t.
But here’s the twist—
Right after achieving something meaningful, many of us fall into a trap. That trap sounds like this:
“If I could do it, it must be easy.”
And when someone congratulates us?
“Oh, if I can do it, anybody can. Trust me.”
Why do we do that? Why do we undermine our own accomplishments?
Here’s the truth:
Just because something feels easier now doesn’t mean it was always easy. It doesn’t erase the hard it took to get there.
Think back to when you:
Figured out something you once knew nothing about
Worked on something for months before it showed results
Achieved a goal that took years of persistence
That wasn’t luck. That was you—growing.
So why do we brush it off? I believe it comes down to two things:
Imposter syndrome:
Whenever we achieve something, we quickly feel out of place. We feel that we don’t belong on that metaphorical podium.
Moving the goal post:
We are addicted to struggle. The moment it doesn't feel like struggle, we dismiss it by saying "Meh, anyone could have done that!! It's not THAT big of a deal!!
Well guess what! It was! And IT IS A BIG DEAL for you!
Why do we forget the moments when it felt so chaotic and frustrating?
Why do we dismiss the nights spent questioning if it was even worth it?
Why do we forget the 100 times we failed at something and spent the day feeling depressed before the first small win ?
Let’s stop pretending those moments didn’t exist.
This applies to all the major milestones like:
Landing a new job
Losing 100 pounds
Running a marathon
Finding a new career
But It applies just as much to the smaller, quieter wins—the ones no one claps for:
Hitting 10,000 steps a day when 5,000 used to leave you winded
Finally doing intermittent fasting for a week after failing for a year
Publishing your newsletter weekly for 6 months after talking about it for 2 years
Running 10km today easily when 5km was a dream once
So what if we started ending our days with:
"I have got this".
"I have got this because I have proof now"
"That was hard. And I did it"
OWN IT!!!!
Try this:
Think about three things you’ve accomplished in the last month. And then fill in these blanks
“This mattered because…”
“It was hard because…”
“And I did it anyway.”
Let your brain practice not rewriting the story of your growth.
If this hits home, forward it to someone who needs to hear it. Or hit reply and tell me:
What’s something you accomplished lately that you haven’t given yourself enough credit for?
Moving or changing the goal spot conveniently is human psychology from years. Understating...why did, and, consistent positive shifting in goal spot is very important. A great article Sagar. Keep it up.