3 Lessons that changed how I approach GROWTH

Suck like you have never sucked before, Look Different, Growth Edge

Feb 23, 2025

Ever wondered why some people struggle with any kind of growth, whereas, some just "have it". Is it something we are born with? or can it be cultivated?

I have been listening to numerous authors, public figures and bad a$$es on different podcasts, reading their books, and also communicating with some of them on my podcast, Beyond The Speech.

It all came down to this:

"Growth isn’t linear, nor is it glamorous. Behind the curtains, It’s messy, uncomfortable and sometimes annoying. However, it almost always requires us to embrace things that feel unnatural. "

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been reflecting on three lessons that have completely shifted my approach to learning, discipline, and personal development. These ideas might challenge you—but if you’re willing to lean into them, they just might change the way we grow.

Suck like you have never sucked before

Let’s be honest—nobody likes to suck at something. It’s uncomfortable, frustrating, and can even feel embarrassing. But here’s the truth: the faster you embrace being bad at something, the faster you get better. I recently interviewed, Drew Bernie on my podcast. Drew is a podcast manager, producer and basically Mark Manson's other half in running the "Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck" show.

He talks about how Mark is completely unafraid of looking like a beginner. That level of confidence in the face of failure is rare—but it's exactly why Mark improves so quickly.

Nobody likes looking stupid. But what if you could change the angle on this? Lets reframe it, shall we?

(P.S. I’ll be posting my episode with Drew in a few weeks—follow along for more insights on this!)

Podcast

We often hold ourselves back because we’re afraid of looking stupid. But instead of seeing it as failure, see it as proof that you’re on the right track. The best way to get past the beginner phase is to stop worrying about it altogether. Just lean in, do the reps, and let yourself suck for a while.

The beginner's mind approach: There are no stupid questions. Keep your curiosity alive, ask dumb questions and take notes. Just don't forget to implement this in the work that you do.
100-rep rule: It is okay to take your time during preparation, but it is more important to just dive in and learn along the way. I have spent countless months thinking about starting my youtube channel, the podcast, or even this newsletter. But some times, its better to just jump in, suck at it, and don’t question if you are good, until you have done it a 100 times.

Look Different

Everyone wants to be exceptional, but by definition, that means you have to do things most people won’t. And that’s… uncomfortable.

I don't mean just taking risks when it comes to major financial investments, quitting your full-time job for something else, or moving across the world to start over. Those are some relatively extra-ordinary steps.

I am talking about small things that also take tremendous efforts. Things that you and I can take in a very mediocre life.

It means:

Skipping plans to prioritize your workout.
Leaving a party early to get enough sleep.
Setting your alarm for 5 AM, even on weekends, just so you can carve out time for deep work.

When you choose these things, people will question you. They won’t understand. And that’s okay.

Ordering just water instead of a beer would spark a debate about "One drink isn't going to kill your gains".
You would get a look of horror for waking up at 430 everyday for some "me-time".
And let's not even talk about the awkward looks you get for opening your kindle at lunch instead of your phone.

If you want an above-average life, you have to do things that don’t make sense to the average person. And the more comfortable you get with looking different, the more freedom you’ll find in building the life you actually want.

The Growth Edge

Real change happens at your Growth Edge—

Imagine standing at the edge of bungee jumping tower where you are constantly saying:

"I have got this…I have SO got this…What the actual F*CK am I doing here…Am I crazy…HERE….WE….GO…..I have got this..HOLD ON… I said HOLD ON…"

While your legs are uncontrollably shaking.

But lets say you make the jump. What happens? You get so excited you think that you can do it again.

That's the growth edge. That space just beyond what feels safe and comfortable. It’s the point where you stretch yourself, take on challenges that feel just a little out of reach, and lean into discomfort on purpose. The point after which your "new normal" changes.

This is the zone where your comfort zone slightly increased and now you aren't scared of it anymore.

Think about a workout: if you lift the same weights forever, you’ll never get stronger. If you only run distances that feel easy, you’ll never build endurance. The same applies to personal and professional growth. You have to push just past your limits, again and again, to expand what’s possible.

The key is to get familiar with that edge—to recognize when you’re feeling resistance, and instead of backing off, step forward. Because that’s where real progress happens.

How I am doing this?

I am on my newsletter #2/100.
I am at #10/100 of my podcast releases.
I am my version of "different" as I am up at 4:30am almost every day.
I moved to a new city and took the leap of faith.

So ask yourself: where’s your Growth Edge right now? What’s one thing you could do today that feels just a little uncomfortable—but would push you toward the person you want to become?

Hit reply and let me know what you think —I’d love to hear what you’re working on.

Beyond The Speech